Qatar Signs Historic Deal to Own US President
DOHA, QATAR (The Borowitz Report)—Last week Qatar inked a historic agreement to acquire a president of the United States, Emir Tamim bin Hamad al Thani confirmed on Monday. But even…
Greenland Appoints Special Envoy to Greet Trump Delegation
GREENLAND (The Borowitz Report)—The government of Greenland has named a special ambassador to greet members of the Trump administration when they visit the territory this week, a Greenlandic official announced…
Trump Names Himself Principal Ballerina of Kennedy Center Ballet
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump tightened his grip on the American arts scene on Monday by naming himself principal ballerina of the Kennedy Center Ballet. Announcing a purge of…